Grudge Match

 

Darin Van Tassell, Tormenta Co-owner
and antagonist in our little story below. 

It's the middle of the week, so let's get a little weird with a hypothetical question. 

Suppose, way back when Tormenta Co-Owner Darin Van Tassell was a college professor, he had a student who didn't do well in his class and blamed Van Tassell for it. (We're going to assume it was the one student who gave him a "OK" rating on Rate My Professor... for comparison, he got 28 ratings of "Awesome.")  For whatever reason, this student could see into the future and know that one day his college professor would own a soccer team and spent years developing his kid to be a soccer prodigy while at the same time, instilling a deep animosity towards Van Tassell and everything he stands for.

In 2024, it's finally time for this student's revenge. He's ready to unleash this soccer prodigy on to League One, but only on the condition that he can play against Tormenta every week. He's got the talent to play in some top leagues in Europe, but is willing to play in USL1 only if he can sign one week contracts with whatever team Tormenta is playing that week. For whatever reason, the powers that be at USL agree to this. (I said we were getting weird in the opening sentence. You knowingly kept reading).

So that's our scenario. We're going to assume for the sake of the argument that the player is either a top striker or a top goalkeeper. With that in mind, I have a few questions.

How good does he have to be?

To bring a guy in for one week, just to play against a team he holds a (probably irrational) grudge against, he's going to have to be really good. Obviously any team would jump to get Erling Haaland or Mohamed Salah or Harry Kane if only for a week to face Tormenta, but do we need someone like Sammie Szmodics who is leading the English Football League's Championship for this to be worthwhile? Presumably, yes. Would the top goalkeeper in La Liga be worth it? Also yes. This player is going to have to be a difference maker and, especially a field player, able to make things happen on his own as he won't have long to learn the system he's playing in week to week.

Look, to be a mercenary in this case, you're going to have to be pretty, pretty good. A marginal upgrade may not be enough for teams to upend their entire team for a one-week boost. So he's got to have the talent to make it, but also have the personality to ingratiate himself with a new team week after week.  

What is the impact on team chemistry?

Are players on the team each week excited to have someone of this player's caliber coming in, if only for a week? How does that affect things for the rest of the season? I've got to think if one of the top players in the world was joining your team for a week, that would have positives and negatives. 

On the positives, you've got an amazing player on your roster for a game. You've got to feel pretty good about getting three points that week or improving your position in the Jagermeister Cup. A week of training with someone of that caliber will most likely make you better as a player. 

And sure, that week is going to be great (and the other week that team plays Tormenta), but is the chemistry of the team going to be thrown off? Are the practices where our star player is in training going to cause issues later when he's not there and you're preparing for Spokane or Knoxville or someone this player's dad doesn't have a weird grudge against? As the season builds, that time and opportunity to build those connections in training are important and giving those up for a week at a time for a newcomer who won't be around next week could cause some dissention among players. 

What insights could he provide?

Over the course of the season, I'm thinking this player is going to start to pick up on tendencies that might get missed in film study. Playing Tormenta that many times would give this guy opportunities to try different things to see what works and what doesn't. Assuming he's a striker, he's going to pick up on the different strengths and weaknesses of Tormenta's back line. 

The other factor to consider is what kind of insights he can bring to his new team about the teams he's played for. Suppose he's in Charlotte one week and Chattanooga the next. He can take what he gleaned at Charlotte and let his new Red Wolves teammates know what he picked up on there. That's valuable insight. 

How would Tormenta adjust? 

At some point Tormenta would have to actually prepare specifically for this player. Ian Cameron has a reputation around the league as an excellent tactician so it would be an exciting chess match to see how he would respond week after week of facing the same guy. We're going to assume he doesn't sign some schlub off the street with the sole purpose of going to injure the guy (not only is that morally wrong, but it goes against the spirit of the question.) So what do you do? You have to prepare for it. You know it's coming and if the guy is that good, there would have to be some adjustments made to be able to counter this player week in and week out. 

Just like he would learn Tormenta's tendencies, Tormenta would learn what this guy's strengths and weaknesses are as well. Would his effectiveness fade as the season went on? It truly would be a fascinating cat and mouse game to see play out.  

How fun would it be?

I mean, on some level, this would be the most fun thing in soccer. Seeing this player show up week in and week out on different teams with nothing more than a strange personal vendetta that can only be carried out on the field would be fascinating. I'm thinking it wouldn't be until the third week that we all kind of picked up on what was happening, and then it would be easily one of, if not the biggest stories in the league. He'd quickly become public enemy number one in Statesboro.

Having said that, for Tormenta fans, this would be the longest possible season. Seeing this guy, again and again, knowing he's only out to avenge some perceived grievance of his dad's from 25 years ago, would be annoying at best and demoralizing at worst. 

Other teams would enjoy having this talented player on their team, if only for a week at a time and maybe for only two weeks for the year. But knowing that he'd never be facing your team would soften the blow of losing him after that game.