Way back before he was the co-owner and president of Tormenta, Darin Van Tassell was, among other things, a college professor. Before his tests, he would say something to the effect of "I wish you luck, but that won't matter. It's all about how you prepared," which, while true, I'm sure his students still would have appreciated a little luck on his exams.
One of the other things he used to tell his students was something to the effect of "you have to call things by their name," which I took to mean he expected us to use clear language to talk about whatever we were discussing and not to use vague or euphemistic descriptions in our class discussions or papers.
I know he said this because I was one of his students way back when. (If you're curious, I got a "B" in his class. I keep hoping that maybe if I publish a good enough article maybe he'll retroactively give me the two points I needed to get an "A" even if I'm sure 24 years is long past the deadline to have my grade changed.)
All of that is my long preamble to say we need to call things by their correct name, and there's a soccer phrase that annoys me because it's so obviously wrong. But it's also so common that I know it's a losing battle to get it corrected. Despite that, I'm still going to fight the righteous fight and by that I mean I'm going to write it about it here and then leave it alone.
Things have a front and a back. We learn this when we're little. If you're reading this on your phone or tablet right now, you're looking at the front of the phone. Turn it over and you'll see the back. It's simple and we all learn this from a very young age.
But for some reason, in this sport we all follow and love, we've managed to forget this concept in a very meaningful way.
Look at that tweet from Tormenta's game on Saturday. There's nothing wrong with it. It tells you what happened. If you're following along on your phone while you were out on a Saturday afternoon, it tells you exactly what you need to know.
But it's wrong. I'm not picking on the social media team for Tormenta. This tweet conveys what it's trying to say in a way that fans understand.
Or this one.
That's a tweet from the official League One account. Again, it tells you exactly what you need to know. But it, too, is wrong.
And here's where I tell you why. The ball doesn't actually hit the back of the net. The ball passes through the goal mouth, between the posts and under the crossbar and hits the net. Fans erupt. Players celebrate. Announcers say the goal scorer found the back of the net.
But stop for a minute. The defense and goalkeeper aren't protecting the back of the goal. They're protecting the front of the goal. Their job is to make sure the offense can't get the ball through the front of the goal. So when the offense does score, they're not hitting the back of the net. They're obviously hitting the front of the net.
In fact, the defense would love for teams to hit the back of the net. The back of the net is on the outside of the goal and to hit the back of the net, you'd need to hit the wall behind the goal and have it bounce back and hit the, well, the back of the net.
Now, we all know what we mean when we say "back of the net." This isn't something that's confusing like when your supervisor says we're going to have bi-weekly meetings and you leave and aren't sure if you're meeting twice a week or if you're meeting every two weeks. We all know and understand what we're talking about when we say someone finds the "back of the net." The point isn't our understanding of the phrase. The point is the phrase, itself, is incorrect.
One one hand, the entire point of words is to communicate ideas. All words are just made up sounds that have no intrinsic meaning. We, as a society, agree that words mean certain things and we use those words to convey thoughts and ideas. That shared meaning and understanding is what allows civilization to continue to grow and develop.
On the other hand, words do have meanings. If we're just going to disregard what something means and use the exact opposite meaning of what we say, then what are we even doing here? Up does not mean down. Left does not mean right. And back does not mean front. These are distinct words with distinct meanings. The front of the net is what the ball hits when someone scores a goal. (We're setting aside goals that hit the side netting, which would more accurately be described as the inside side netting.)
It's very likely that I'll still say "back of the net" for my articles that are published by the Statesboro Herald. As I said, the phrase communicates the idea to the reader and that is the purpose of language. I'm 100% sure that if I said someone found the front of the net, it would take people out of the story and lead to more confusion.
But that doesn't make it right and I'm not happy about it.
Let me know what other phrases annoy you about the game.
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