April Power Rankings

You never know what you'll find
when googling for images for a blog post.

It's Power Rankings time again. Can Richmond hold on to the top spot? Will Charlotte rebound from it's precipitous fall last time? What will we do with Omaha and Chattanooga? 

Well, friends, there's only one way to find out so lets get to it, shall we.

If you're new here, first off, are you lost? But if not and you actually mean to be here, then welcome. We're glad you're here. You may be wondering how Richmond could possibly be the reigning number one in our power rankings when they currently have three points through three games while Greenville and Knoxville are both sitting there undefeated? Well, we do Power Rankings a little differently. Instead of looking at things like "talent" and "results," we tend to use different factors when it comes to ranking the 12 teams in the league. 

With baseball season starting (if you saw the guy in the blue Cubs jacket at the last Tormenta game, that was me), I figured it was time to incorporate baseball into our rankings somehow. Because League One is classified as Division III when it comes to leagues in US Soccer, I figured it was only appropriate to look at the third division of professional baseball in the United States, which would be the AA level of minor league baseball. 

A quick primer for those who aren't baseball fans. In baseball, Major League teams operate minor league teams, where players not yet ready for the top level can work on their skills. Perform well at one level and you can get promoted to the next. The levels basically go 1. Major League Baseball; 2. AAA (top minor league teams); 3. AA (two steps from the major leagues) and 4. A (lowest level). 

I'll spare you the details, but a few years ago Major League Baseball reorganized it's Minor Leagues so now most of the AA teams are located in the south and up the midatlantic to the northeast, which will have an impact on our rankings. 

Finally, yes, that's Tormenta co-owner Darin Van Tassell in the photo at the top of this post. He's led a fascinating sports life but for our purposes, finding an 1989 photo of him in his baseball uniform for Georgia Southern College (it wasn't a University until 1990) was too good to pass up.

I hope I haven't violated the number one rule of songwriting, which is "Don't bore us before the chorus." Let's get to the rankings.

12. Spokane (-4) (closest team: Amarillo Sod Poodles) - A mere 1,504 miles away, though if you're willing to pay the tolls you can save an hour of driving, the Amarillo Sod Poodles are your team, Spokane. I'm not suggesting some sort of sister city thing where both teams start randomly cheering for the other's sports teams, but I'm not NOT suggesting that either. The only issue with that would be...

11. Central Valley (-4) (Amarillo Sod Poodles) - Central Valley is a little closer to the Sod Poodles at 1,203 miles from the Amarillo. We should stop here and say that minor league baseball team names were once fun, but now they basically take two things that a town may kind of be known for and smash them together like some unholy Frankenstein monster. The Sod Poodles is a reference to the prairie dogs of west Texas. Other options considered was the "Boot Scooters," "Long Haulers," and, I kid you not, the "Amarillo Jerky." Central Valley and Spokane will have to fight it out for the love of the Sod Poodles.

10. Madison (-6) (Akron RubberDucks) - Madison has no competition for the affection of the RubberDucks, a name meant to draw on the history of tire and rubber companies in the region. It's only a short 513 mile drive from Madison's stadium to the RubberDucks' stadium. The affiliate of the Cleveland Guardians have been in existence, (though not necessarily with the same name) since 1923, which is only two years before construction of Breese Stevens Field began in Madison. 

9. Northern Colorado (-7) (Amarillo Sod Poodles) - While Spokane and Central Valley are fighting for the affection of Amarillo, don't leave out Northern Colorado, only 470 miles from Windsor to Amarillo. The Hailstorm the biggest dropper in this month's rankings, falling from second on the strength of their mayor's age all the way to ninth this month. 

8. South Georgia (-5) (Montgomery Biscuits) - South Georgia just narrowly misses the seventh spot, being only four more miles away from Montgomery's stadium than the seventh-ranked team is from their closest team. The Biscuits' (292 miles away) are named that because, as far as I can tell, the owner liked the possibilities of jokes and puns with the name. Their mascots are "Big Mo," which is a monster that eats biscuits and "Monty," an anthropomorphized biscuit. Presumably "Big Mo" and "Monty" are never in the same place at the same time or the parents of kids at the game are going to have some explaining to do.

7. Omaha (+2) (Wichita Wind Surge) - Just 288 miles from Omaha's stadium, the Wind Surge is a name that Wichita residents are not fond of. Omaha currently plays in a AAA ballpark they share with the Omaha Storm Chasers. I'm no marketing genius, but Storm Chasers is a much better name than Wind Surge. It would probably be weird if Union Omaha reached out to the Wind Surge to be friends, but maybe it wouldn't be. 

6. Charlotte (+5) (Tennessee Smokies) - Charlotte is 225 miles away from the Tennessee Smokies, named, obviously for the Great Smoky Mountains found in southeastern Tennessee. The Smokies play in Kodak, Tennessee but plan to move to Knoxville, next year. Charlotte, meanwhile, continues to be mentioned as a candidate for expansion for Major League Baseball.

5. Lexington (+7) (Tennessee Smokies) - Our biggest climber of the month, Lexington vaults all the way from 12th to fifth this month. They're 202 miles away from the aptly named Smokies Stadium. The stadium holds 6,400 fans and apparently has easy access just off Interstate 40, you know, in case Lexington and Charlotte fans wanted to meet midweek before they play and take in a baseball game and enjoy the company of some other USL League One fans.

4. Greenville (+6) (Tennessee Smokies) - Charlotte and Lexington fans should probably go ahead and invite their Greenville friends to this little meet up as Greenville is only 148 miles from the Smokies. Greenville has their own minor league team, the Greenville Drive with a mascot of a frog named Reedy Rip'it. Regardless, it looks like a simple drive up I-40 to Kodak from Greenville.

3. Knoxville (+2) (Tennessee Smokies) - This would have been different had we done this next year and the Smokies had moved to Knoxville. Instead, One Knox is 22.3 miles from the Smokies and should certainly handle hosting duties for this get together that by writing about I'm trying to will into existence. Meanwhile, someone at the Tennessee Smokies, get on this. Have a League One night at your ballpark. Look at all the soccer fans who are relatively close by. 

2. Chattanooga (+4) (Chattanooga Lookouts) - I love this team name as it is a reference to nearby Lookout Mountain. The logo  is fantastic and the team has been in Chattanooga since the the first term of Grover Cleveland. (Maybe it's just me, but I can't imagine a president named "Grover" today. That may be a lack of imagination on my part, but we digress.) The stadium is located just 9.3 miles from the Red Wolves' stadium and, presumably, the Lookouts have had no postponements this season due to their field not being ready.

1. Richmond (no change) (Richmond Flying Squirrels) - Only 2.3 miles away from City Stadium, the Flying Squirrels are the minor league affiliate of the San Francisco Giants and have been since 2010. Other names considered included the "Rock Hoppers," "Rhinos," and "Hush Puppies." No team should ever be named the Hush Puppies. Biscuits is bad enough. Richmond retains its top spot in the rankings for the third consecutive month, an honor I'm sure they treasure.