Dear Chattanooga Fans

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 Dear Chattanooga Fans,

I have committed the grievous oversight of neglecting Rusty the Red Wolf in my recent Mascot Pants Wearing post. After consulting with my PR team, we at Stormwatch912 are issuing the following statement from our Director of Fixing Screwups division, Tommy Flanagan:

Rusty is a valuable member of the USL League One Mascot family. He's important  and beloved by the Red Wolves team. And Chattanoonga as a whole. And Tennessee. And the United States. And the world. He's the most beloved mascot in the world. Yeah, that's it. 

We didn't overlook him though. No, we, we just missed him. He was hiding. Yeah, that's the ticket. Hiding. He was camouflaged. Yeah, that's it. Camo. We even went searching for all the mascots before posting. Me and my wife, Morgan Fairchild. Yeah, that's it. Me and Morgan Fairchild were in charge of finding all the mascots and Rusty was so well hidden that we missed him. That's the ticket. And when we reported back, we couldn't include him because he wasn't able to be found. Scott Mackenzie had adopted him, yeah. And he was inside his home and couldn't be found. That's it. Yeah. Not an oversight on our part. We tried.

We at Stormwatch912 wish it to be known that Mr. Flanagan has been sacked. We apologize for Mr. Flanagan's blatant lies in his "apology" and were unaware he was a member of the Pathological Liars Association. We offer our apologies and have another statement from our Interim Director of Fixing Screwups, Mr. Jake Blues:

"Oh please, don't kill us. Please, please, please don't kill us. You know I love you baby. I wouldn't forget you. It wasn't my fault. I ran out of gas. I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A Terrible Flood. Locusts. IT WASN'T MY FAULT! I SWEAR TO GOD!"

We at Stormwatch912 wish it to be known that Mr. Blues has also been sacked. We were unaware of his prior criminal record in Illinois. Unfortunately we're a small organization and that is everyone in our Department of Fixing Screwups. So please accept our apologies. We'll be updating the post with Rusty later today (as my day job allows) and will link to this apology at the top of that post as well. 

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