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Showing posts from July, 2025

Never Tell Me The Odds

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After a disappointing 1-0 loss to Madison on Wednesday, Tormenta now completes their 10-day, three-city world tour with a trip to Miami for the final group stage game of the Jagermeister Cup. They are mathematically alive to advance but they are essentially the same as Lloyd Christmas going out with Mary Swanson in the movie Dumb and Dumber.      Lloyd Christmas : I want to ask you a question, straight out, flat out, and I want you to give me an honest answer. What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and girl like me ending up together?      Mary Swanson: Well Lloyd, that's difficult to say. We really don't...      Lloyd Christmas: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you Mary, just.... The least you could do is level with me. What are my chances?      Mary Swanson: Not good.      [the background soundtrack music suddenly stops]      Lloyd Christm...

If you only had one shot (with apologies to Eminem)

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Photo Credit: Tormenta FC Tormenta lost 1-0 to Madison last night with the Mingos getting one shot on goal the whole night. It was a fantastic shot following an errant pass by Tormenta's Aaron Walker, setting up Madison's lone goal of the night. But only one shot. With apologies to Eminem (and to the tune of "Lose Yourself" ) here's my recap: Look, if you had one shot or one opportunity To seize everything you ever wanted in one moment would you capture it or just let it slip? The teams were sweaty, knees weak, legs are heavy Perspiration on their jerseys already, hot and sweaty They're nervous but on the surface they are calm and ready It's a big game, both teams needing a win The game starts, the whole crowd goes so loud They knock it around but the ball just stays out No scoring, how? Defense is strong, wow. The clock runs up, nearly halftime, blaow. Following a turnover, Dourado Pereira He's open on the left, he shoots, it's so good Sam Jones w...

Battle of the Birds, Part Duex

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Ibises and Flamingos, together at last. It's another Battle of the Birds tonight as the Ibises of South Georgia take on the Flamingos of Forward Madison in Wisconsin. It's the second of a three-game road trip for Tormenta, who defeated Union Omaha 2-1 this past Friday and play in the final group stage round of the Jagermeister Cup Saturday night in Miami.  Let's go to the tale of the tape: Flamingo: Height: 3.9-4.7 feet; Weight: 4.6-9 pounds; 37 mph flight speed Ibis: Height: 1.9-2.3 feet; Weight: 2.2 pounds; 30 mph flight speed. On paper, things don't look good for South Georgia. Madison has a decided height, weight and speed advantage all which could spell doom for Tormenta. They'll have to play smart, not make any mistakes and take advantage of their opportunities if they hope to come away with a victory. Wait, I'm being told that they're going to just let the human players play the game and efforts to train birds to play soccer have been never actually b...

Knock a little louder sugar

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B-52s front man Fred Schneider. His appearance here will make sense once you read on. Or maybe not. We'll see how it goes. Sam Jones did his best Fred Schneider impersonation Friday night as Tormenta earned their first ever victory over Union Omaha, 2-1.  Yaniv Bazini scored two goals sandwiched around the line Omaha goal all within the first 20 minutes and .... What's that?  I can't just make some weird references to Fred Schneider and move on like everyone knows what I'm talking about? You want some kind of an explanation. Fine. That's fair.  Schneider is one of the lead singers for the Athens, Georgia based B-52s. They're not as popular as the other famous Athens band, R.E.M., but they had hits like Rock Lobster, Roam, and, for our purposes, Love Shack. You know Love Shack. "The Love Shack is a little old place where we can get together." The video has a "before he was famous" appearance by RuPaul. Kids, ask your parents. Or just click on...

Where is everybody?

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Photo Credit: Tormenta FC Saturday's game against Knoxville started out great. Niall Reid-Stephen scored off a beautiful pass from Mason Tunbridge early to electrify the crowd as Tormenta went ahead 1-0. About that crowd though. There were only 496 in attendance for the game that saw a delay of more than an hour following lightning nearby (perhaps I shouldn't have said electrified the crowd in that last sentence.) Before the delay, the heat index was again more than 100 degrees at kickoff and while the threat of storms never materialized at Tormenta Stadium, there was enough of a threat that it likely kept some fans home. A few weeks ago, Richard Strickland over at Southeast Soccer Report took a look at Tormenta's attendance, or lack thereof, and tried to figure out what's going on . It's a good article and worth your time. He noted that Statesboro is home to Georgia Southern and its 26,000 students, its proximity to Savannah and a region with 430,000 people in it a...

One Knox Preview

I wanted to post something while I was on an family trip to North Carolina over and extended July 4th weekend, but it didn't happen. I did get a chance to watch the game against Portland, which was nice. But we're back with an abbreviated recap/preview for the weekend. As it's a home game, the game story will be published at StatesboroHerald.com sometime Sunday. I don't have any more travel planned for the rest of the year so we shouldn't have any more interruptions in posting going forward other than my proclivity to be lazy from time to time. I actually have a backlog of topics I want to hit on soon and hopefully I can write those up in the coming weeks.  A lot has changed since Tormenta and Knoxville met just a few weeks ago. It's only been 21 days since Knoxville shut out Tormenta 3-0 in Tennessee that saw Tormenta dominate possession (65% to 35%) and outshoot One Knox (12-10) but come away on the short side and extend their winless streak to six. Since that...

Emptying the Quotebook

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Photo Credit: Tormenta FC A couple quick hitters today as I'm traveling again, this time to the mountains of North Carolina for a big family gathering with my parents, their kids and their familes. Fortunately (for me) Tormenta is on the road at Portland this weekend so I don't have to miss another home game. That game is Sunday night at 6:30 and if Portland's game on Wednesday was any indication, it'll be a tough watch at times simply because of the camera position and the sun setting. With any luck, Tormenta will be attacking on the right side and have a lot of the possession until the sun finally disappears. (Or, and hear me out Portland, schedule your games for later in the evening and this won't be a problem.) One of the challenges of writing game stories for the Statesboro Herald  is that I can't always get everything in the story that I want to. Yes, it's writing on the web and there's no space limit, but the audience isn't there for 2,500 wor...

The Week (and a little more) that Was

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Photo Credit: Tormenta FC I tried to unplug as much as I could last week while I was away, but it's a poster's life for me so I was still on Bluesky far more than I should have been while on vacation. Nevertheless, we're back now. (At least briefly, I've got one more excursion coming up over the July 4th weekend but then we should be back to normal around here.) Let's go and hit the highlights of the week that was for Tormenta. Way back on June 21, the League One guys traveled to Knoxville and came away with a 3-0 loss, extending their winless streak to six games in all competitions. Frankly, the less said about this game, the better as it was typical of what we'd seen from Tormenta up until that point. They dominated possession (65/35), outshot Knoxville (12/10) and were still shut out in the loss. It was not a fun game to watch. Meanwhile, in better news Flavie Dube's hat trick led the W-League team to an 8-0 win over Wake FC on June 21. It was the sixth ...