USL League One Teams and Jeopardy!

I lost on Jeopardy, baby!

Remember when you were a kid and you thought whatever was happening around you was essentially normal for everyone. Everyone went back to school when you did. Whatever sports you played in the Fall where the same as whatever everyone else was playing. Whatever shows you watched on Saturday mornings were the shows you assumed everybody watched because you didn't have a true understanding that the world exists outside of your own little bubble. 

And remember how mind-blowing it was when you discovered that wasn't actually the case and your cousins started school on a different day and their Saturday morning cartoons were different from yours. 

Eventually you came to understand the world isn't all the same, but there's still parts of you that, even now, (even if you don't want to admit it), you think things should be done the way they were when you were growing up and other parts of the country and the world are doing it wrong.

One of the biggest for me was finding out Jeopardy! didn't air at the same time all over the country.

There is a time that Jeopardy!  is supposed to come on and if it's not at that time, it's wrong. I don't make the rules. That's just how it is. 

I'm holding to the "how things were when I was growing up is how they are supposed to be" and evaluating all the media markets for USL1 teams and their time and network for airing Jeopardy!  We'll go from "Correct" (7:30 p.m. on the NBC affiliate) to "Agent of Chaos" and everything in between.

Let's get to it, shall we? All times taken from this fantastic site that tracks Jeopardy! times across the nation.

Correct, as the Lord intended:

Knoxville (7:30, NBC)

Naples (7:30, NBC)

This is how it's supposed to be. How it was laid out when God was setting the parameters of the Earth. I'm confident that some long lost scroll has the time and network for Jeopardy!  on it right next to roof height laws in the book of Deuteronomy.

Close enough that we'll let it slide:

Greenville (7:30, ABC)

Fort Wayne (7:30, CBS)

Portland (7:30, ABC)

Sarasota (7:30, CBS)

Richmond (7:30, ABC)

Chattanooga (7:30, ABC)

It's clearly established that 7:30 is the proper time for Jeopardy! You've had dinner, you've cleaned up and you're still alert enough that a fun, challenging game show is something you want to do. It's truly the perfect time. You even start with Wheel of Fortune at 7 p.m. to get warmed up but I find the Wheel to be incredibly boring. That said, my youngest LOVES it so guess what I get to watch. 7:30 is the most common time for Jeopardy! to air.

What are we doing here?:

Charlotte (7:00, NBC)

Westchester (7:00, ABC)

AV Alta (7:00, ABC)

Cosmos (7:00, ABC)

Spokane (7:00, NBC)

The problem with Jeopardy!  at 7:00 is that it means Wheel of Fortune comes after Jeopardy!  and that can not abide. There's no rational world where Wheel should follow Jeopardy!. These are some of the biggest markets in the country. Westchester and Cosmos are in the New York City media market. AV Alta is in the LA market. Huge percentages of the country's population are stuck with Jeopardy!  at 7 p.m. 

Turning your back on God's light:

Boise (6:00, CBS) 

Boise is the 98th largest media market in the country. Presumably there is enough local news happening in and around The City of Trees that a 6 p.m. local newscast is in order? Surely the legacy of Monica Gayle, who anchored KTVB in the mid 1980s before making it to a co-anchor for CBS Morning News in New York City from 1992-1994. Jeopardy!  does not belong in this time slot. This time slot is for local news.

I Don't Understand What's Happening:

Corpus Christi (5:00, CBS)

There's a scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail when King Arthur and his Knights are listening to a priest read from the Book of Armaments about the proper way to deploy the Holy Hand grenade of Antioch. One of the jokes is the emphasis on how to count to three before throwing it. "Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out."

You see that Corpus Christi CBS network. Five is right out. And yet you persist in showing Jeopardy! at 5 p.m. This time slot is also for local news, but not the real news. This is for some second grader winning a local award or an accident that backed up traffic earlier that morning but has since been cleared. You know, news.

Agents of Chaos:

Omaha (4:30, ABC)

Madison (4:30, NBC)

Who is this for? Who is watching Jeopardy!  at 4:30 on weekday afternoons? Middle schoolers who are home after school? Retirees? In Omaha, it looks like roughly 21 percent of the population is 60 years old or older. Madison, meanwhile, the number is even less at 18 percent. Is Jeopardy!  a big college thing at Creighton and The University of Wisconson-Madison that I just don't know about. I'm truly at a loss as to how airing Jeopardy! at 4:30 makes any sense.  

Having said that, Omaha and Madison are first and third in the standings so maybe there's something to 4:30 Jeopardy! after all.

No, no there's not. This will never make sense to me. And this isn't a USL Championship post, but don't think I didn't notice Birmingham with a 3:30 Jeopardy! airing on the CW. Nothing about that sentence makes sense.